Saturday, December 30, 2006
#14: REJUVENATION
Once upon a time- wait- time is on a standstill then
By all means it has no relevance
And i'll never go back there again
If I have had the chance.
The moon once mirrored my injured soul
The mountain casts its shadow
The rain does not seem to stop its fall
Inside, it's cold and hollow.
Now the wind has carried my worries away
The waves just washed my pain.
The sun shone full of promise today
Sans black, all pure, no stain.
it got me home
6:40 AM
Monday, December 25, 2006
#13: CHRISTMAS
WARNING: KUNG AYAW NIO EMO AT SENTI WAG MAGBASA.
( Para namang mapipigil ng ganito ang curiosity ng tao.)
Tama sila, dapat hindi jino-joke ang lahat..
Pero gusto ko lang talaga na matuwa ka.
Merry Christmas sa iniong lahat! Maging masaya sana lahat. Pero that's impossible, isn't it? What with all the sufferings, poverty, etc.
Naah, not if you're an optimist.
Eto ako ngaun, tapos na mag-noche buena. Tapos nang magbukas ng mga regalo. At ngayo'y hindi na naman makatulog, walang magawa. Nandito na naman ako.
Anyway, let me take this opportunity to thank my Lawrentian brethren, Bernard Jude. He made quite a great layout of my blog. Un nga lang ayaw lumabas ng pang-11 kong post. Crap. Sayang, maganda pa naman. Tsaka sana seryosohin nio ang entry kong to kahit ang background ay yours truly na mukha lang namang beggar. Simulan na uli mga posts.
I'm in a dilemma. I really want to watch the MaSci Chorale sing and win(I already assumed) the CarolFest Grand Finals to be held in Raja Sulayman. Kasi naman, meron pa kaming dapat tapusing movie, at project yon, at gabi isu-shoot. Sabi ni Julie kasi hindi puede, dapat top priority ang movie. Pero nakatali ako sa isang promise, kaya kahit pinagbawal na, ang makulit kong sarili ay pumunta sa sakayan papuntang Maynila.
On the way there ay kasama ko sina Tita Flor(na magbobonding sa Calvin), si Sarah(choir impromptu) at Leah(my sidekick, mamaya na kung bakit). At mayroon akong nalamang bago. Nagulat na naman ako sa iisang isyu ngayong year. First time. Waw, have I been living under a rock to be this unupdated? And is there such a word as unupdated? Hmm.
Sa panahong ito ng aming pagdadaldalan sa fx tumawag si Julie. At galit na galit siya. Dahil bat ko daw siya tinext at cnabing hindi nya kami pinayagan, samantalang sinabi daw niya nung umaga na pwede naman daw, basta umuwi lang ng maaga para i2loy ung pagsu-shoot. Squinting my eyes, inapuhap ko sa memorya ko kung kelan nangyari yun. Ah, hindi ko matandaan. That must be the time nung nakahandusay ako sa sofa nina Leah at humihilik. Pati mga kasama ko hindi nila alam. Kaya masaya kami nung malaman na pwede pala ang aming sneak-in na panonood sa contest. At least hindi ilegal. Hahaha.
Then I had this ingenious plan(which will prove to be a stupid plan after all). Tutal ang alam niya nman hindi na kami sisipot, I might as well keep her in that thought. At ang aming accomplice na si Sarah ay sasabihing umatend kami sa concert ng banda ng utol ko. Well, totoong me banda kuya ko, pero bano naman tumugtog un e. Waste of time. Hehehe some other time tol!=p Kaya ayun, tinuloy na namin.
Ayos, ala nang problema. How wrong I was.
Umalis na sina Flori at Sarah. Kami na lang ng aking pretty witty sidekick na si Leah. Ang journalism ay conveniently postponed. Kaya ang mission? Mag-mallhopping para i-commence ang aking Operation Save-Kitty-From-Post-Christmas-Sale! Wherein ang objective ay bumili ng regalo niya at isalba ito mula sa stocks ng Gift Gate. Pinuntahan namin ni sidekick Leah ang Rob, kung saan naroon ang pinakamalapit na Gift Gate.
Rob Saleslady: Sir ano po hanap nila?
Allan: Ah, ano po.. stuffed toy po na pusa..
RS: Ah, Hello Kitty po? Eto pong nasa..
Allan: (duh, kilala ko si Hello Kitty at di sya un!) Ah, hindi po. Brown po siya, tsaka, tsaka, naka-smile..
RS: Ay sori po ser, wala na pong stock, kabibili lang last week.
I therefore conclude na bulok ang Gift Gate sa Robinson's. Ok lang yan, marami pang malls sa Pinas.
Next stop: SM Manila.
SM Saleslady: Ser, ano po hanap nila?
Allan: Ano po, meron pa po ba kayong... pusang stuffed toy...ung brown po, tsaka nka-smile?
SMS: Ay sori po, out of stock.
I therefore conclude na bulok din ang Gift Gate sa SM Manila. Napaka fair-weather-friend ng Gift Gate. Kung kelan di kelangan, nanjan. Kung kelangan, out of stock. Bleaugh.
No choice then. Sa Glorietta tau.
It's about this time na naka-receive ng phone call si Leah. Siya daw. Masaya ko pang kinuha fone.
"Woi!"
"Allan, pede ba kitang murahin?"
"..."
"Leche ka alam mo yun? Sana sinabi mo na lang ang totoo, hindi ung gagamitin mo pa si Julie"
"..."
" Manonood ka lang pala ng concert ng kuya mo! Gago ka pala e!"
"...Okay, sorry."
Wala nang nagsasalita sa kabilang linya, kaya binabaan ko na. Narealize ko agad na gumulo ang lahat. And I was worried. Nevertheless, I pushed through with the plan. I know she's not narrow-minded. I think she would understand. I hope she would understand.
That incident urged me to look for the cat even more fervently than ever. I figured na ung pusa lang na yun ang magsasalba sa akin sa kanya. Pero ayun, naligaw kami sa pusod ng Makati. Ilang jeep ang sinakyan, ilang daan ang nilakad, ilang sikyo ang napagtanungan namin. Buti na lang at nanjan pa rin si sidekick Leah, kahit na alam kong pagod siya. Iniisip ko na rin lang na 'adventure' ung ginagawa namin. Imagine-in mo, wala kaming kapera-pera, sa gitna ng mga skycrapers, at worst of all, gosh we look like beggars.
At ang ibinayad ko naman ke Leah, katangahan. Nakakita lang nang letter "G", pumara na agad. Greenbelt pala un, hindi Glorietta. Sige, naglakad na lang uli. First time kong maglakad ng ganun kahaba, at naligaw ng matagal sa Makati.
Kaya isipin mo na lang ang tuwa namin nung nakita namin ni Leah ang pusa. Nagmistulang Mecca ang Giftgate sa aming mga mata. Itsura namin nung nakita kami nung saleslady. Ah, we don't care! Binili agad, umalis. At dumerecho sa Roxas. Back then I was reassured by Leah na pagkatanggap niya ng regalo ko, magiging ok na ang lahat. Yeah, tumatawa na lang ako ngayon. Meron pang 2 delinquents na pinormahan si LeYa. Haha- not.
Maaga kaming dumating sa Raja Sulayman, at wala pa ang choir. Nagkakitaan na kami nina Flori sa Baywalk. Mejo in good spirits ako, dahil alam kong matutuwa siya sa regalo ko, dahil alam kong ito'y gusto niya. Sabi pa nga ni Leah, kung kelangan daw lumuhod, lumuhod! Pinagtatawanan pa namin ung mga nagsesenti sa Baywalk. Un pala magiging ganun din ako maya2. Haha.
Kapagdaka'y dumating na ang choir. This is it.. Time to face the music.
***
Tapos na kami nag-usap. And it did not turn out too well. It was a mess.
And I thought you would understand. I thought you'd be happy.
Naguluhan talaga ko. I wasn't expecting that kind of confrontation.
Wala lang, ngumiti ka lang.
You don't need to do that when you're angry.
Gusto ko sanang mag-apologize.
But my pride won't let me.
And it's hard to really explain when you're not really given the chance.
Kaya eto, sinulat ko na lang. Bahala ka na kung maniniwala ka.
"Hindi ko na alam kung anong paniniwalaan ko"
Why can't you believe me then?
I don't blame you. I can't blame you. You've been lied at a lot.
And it's hard for you to trust again. Pero..
Sa tingin mo ba nanloloko lang ako? Na nanggu-good time lang?
Nanti3p lang ba ko? Ganun ba tingin mo?
I wanted to shout at how badly, and how wrongly you've accused me.
Kakainis talaga pag ambaba ng tingin sayo ng isang tao.
I don't get it.
Ewan ko kung bakit. Nakaka-overwhelm. Siguro napuno lang talaga ako. Na-disappoint. Nawalan ng lakas. Naramdaman ko na ung pagod na kanina pa sinu-supress ng pekeng pag-asa. Napaluha na lang ako. Nakakahiya talaga, ang isang makisig na binatang tulad ko, umiiyak sa Raja Sulayman, sa dinami-dami ng tao. Tinawid ko na lang yung Baywalk at dun tinuloy ang ligaya. Iyak-tawa lang ako. Drama kasi ng ginagawa ko e. Hindi ko akalain na gagawin ko rin pala yun tulad ng sa isa sa baduy na telenovelang pinapanood ni BobbieChu. Ngayon naiintindihan ko na kung bakit ma-emo ang atmosphere ng Baywalk. Iniisip ko, how could such a beautiful night turn out to be so wrong? Buti na lang, andun sina Flori, kundi napagtripan ko sigurong tumalon sa Manila Bay. Mukha kasing masaya nong sandaling yun e.
First time kong umiyak dahil sa babae. Haha, nakakatawa talaga. Ang weird kasi. I never thought I'd see the day. Anliit na bagay, iniyakan. Parang na-misunderstood lang. Parang sineryoso lang ang biro. Parang bata. Tinanong ko sarili ko kung bakit ako maiiyak sa ganong kaliit na bagay.
Haha, nagtanong pa .. Syempre maiiyak ka, kasi masakit.
it got me home
12:10 AM
Sunday, December 24, 2006
#12: 11 HOURS, 10 MINUTES BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Tuloy ang ligaya.
Ituloy na natin ang mga "firsts" this week.
Ah, I got one. First time ko mag-cut ng klase, entirely and on purpose.
Sana hindi nagba-blog surfing sina Mam Parcon, Mam Fajardo at Mam Sabado 0_O
Nagkayayaan kasi e. Wala pa rin kasi akong regalo. At wala din akong pera. So I'm on a rather tight fix. Wednesday na kasi kinabukasan, at Thursday ang Xmas party. So it's now or never. At out of the blue, nagyayang mag0shopping si Thea kinabukasan, at pahihiramin daw nia ko ng pambili. Waw, ganun talaga pag mayaman. Kunsabagay, halos lahat ng mga kaklase ko na tinanong e magka-cut din dahil bbli sila ng panregalo. Kaya pumayag ako.
Kaya nasa Divisoria kami ni Amity at Thea, alas-otso pa lang ng umaga. Dami ng tao! Buti na lang at maaga kami pmunta. I later heard ke Leah na hindi na sila makahinga sa loob ng 168 nung 1pm sila namili. Uh, nung 1 pm, nandun kaming 3 sa Glorietta. Glorietta, u say? Oo nga e. Hndi ko nga sana talaga gustong bumili dun e. Un nga lang, credit card ung pera ni Thea. Wala nmang card-slasher thingy sa Divi. Plastic Purchase!
On the way, nagtantrums nanaman c Thea. Hehe. Ayoko kasi kantahin ung "First Love" ni Utada Hikaru (more on that later.) . Tpos nag- Para po 5x cya sa jeep! Nyahahahaa!!! Tawa kami ng tawa ni Vanity. The usual team-up.
Dumating na kami sa Glorietta. Namili. Aun. Tapos paikot-ikot. Humiwalay si Amity sa amin. Umabot sa limits ung credit ni Thea, kaya di na kami nkapamili pa.
Then pmunta kami sa Gift Gate. Me pinakita nia sa akin ang isang pusang stuffed toy. Magkamukha nga sila eh. Hehe. Nakakatuwang tignan. Unti-unti akong nagplano sa utak ko.
Right then and there, nagpasya kong bbilhin ko ang pusang yon.
Hindi na kami nakaabot pa sa Journalism. Hindi na rin na2loy ang plano naming mag-MOA, ice skating. Gusto ko na kasing umuwi. Wawa naman c Bobbie di nakasama! Nyaha.
Xmas Party na bukas. Wahoo. ^_^
it got me home
8:44 PM
Saturday, December 23, 2006
#11: 13 HOURS, 45 MINUTES TILL CHRISTMAS
Waw, mainit pa rin kahit December.. literally.
Waw, ito ang pinakamalamig na December.. figuratively.
Ayun, malapit na Pasko. Naghahanda na si Mommy ng pagkain (san ka ba nakakita ng sinigang sa Noche Buena?) para mamaya. Eto ako, nagbabantay ng shop. Wala ko magawa sa buhay ko kaya magpopost na lang ako.
Magtatagalog na ko, biro mo un. First time.
Speaking of firsts, marami akong naranasan sa linggong 'to sa unang beses.
Malapit na matapos ung movie namin sa Huma, ang horror movie na wala pa ring title hanggang ngaun. Kaso umalis ako kaagad sa bahay nina Leah (kung saan kami ay nanatili ng mga 2 araw. First time ko ding mag-overnite-ng more than 1 day- sa bahay ng isang kaklase.) at nang-Indian kasi aatend ako ng kasal ng pinsan ko. Sorry Flori, and everybody! Buti na lang mejo nagawa ko na ang mga parts na meron ako sa movie. Ansaya sa bahay nina Leah. As expected, pag pinagsama-sama ang Lawrence, maingay. Pero kayang-kaya basta't sama-sama, as they say.
Isa pa, first time ko ding maranasang mangaroling kasama Lawrence. Chorale talaga kami. Nangingiti ako pag nai-impress ung mga pinagcarolingan nmen. Angaling daw kasi nmen! Nakakatuwa nman, di pa kami buo nun a. Sa loob ng 30 mins, nakalikom kami ng 820 php. Yeah.
First time ko ring umatend ng isang super-magarbong kasalan. Nakakatuwa. Mukhang masaya naman si Ate Kitkit ke Kuya Noel. Ung reception, pang-elite.
Nung una akala ko andami ng audience, mga kakilala ni Ate at Kuya. Kaso nung matapos na ung reception, ung kainan (btw, masarap ung pagkain), nakakagulat, ung 300-something na nakaupo e nabawasan ng lampas kalahati. Akala ko nung una magsi-cr lang. E nung andami nang nalalagas sa audience, nagduda na ko. Aba, hindi magkakasya ang ganun karami sa cr. Un pala umuuwi na. Sabi ng host, ".. at habang umaalis na ang mga 'di ka-close.." Ntatawa lang ako. Hindi man lang tinapos ung program. Bastos nman nun. Nakakahiya sa part nina Kuya at Ate. Parang pumunta lang don para kumain. Hindi man lang tinapos ung program. Kunsabagay, kasalanan din un ng wedding planner, inuna kasi nya ang kainan bago lunch. But still, dapat me respect. 30 tables ang puno bago kumain. 7 Tables na lang ang natira nung matapos. Sa mga normal weddings na napuntahan ko, oo, konti nga sila, pero hindi ganon ang attitude ng audience. First time ko makakita ng ganun sa isang kasalan.
mya na ibang first time..
it got me home
6:10 PM
Sunday, December 17, 2006
#10: THE LONELY GEMINI
Time seems to fly by slowly
In this moonlit night
As I sit and watch the stars in deep reverie
Where are you..?
I grasp in the depths of my memory
The times that we had back then
The moments that we defy the hourglass
And chase the sun away.
We sleep by the river of dreams
We play beside Aquarius's river
And see Aquila and Cygnus fly.
We were adorned with Virgo's garlands
While watching the Piscans swim.
Where are you..?
We fall asleep beneath Apollo's glare
And arise when Elune comes by
Then we do start the same old things
Over and over again.
The days had turned to years
But these moments still I keep
For you're no longer here with me
To watch the bright stars weep.
I long to see your smile again
At least a touch, a glance
For I know now that I have wronged
My soul, my half, my life.
Where are you..?
-- Castor
it got me home
2:57 AM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
#9: OF GAMESHOWS (PART 2)
The audience is in a frenzy. They are shouting at the top of their lungs, trying to influence the contestant; some people were trying to dissuade the person and telling her to give in, and yet some are urging her to go on and never give up.
She is confused. One mistake would mean lots. Yeah, lots. Like a couple of hundred grand less, at least. Time is running out.
This could be the beginning or the end for her. She had things to buy, children to support, and debts to pay. She is nervous. Add that to the fact that she was face-to-face with the Queen herself, the controversial, flamboyantly stylish fashion icon and host unparalleled. And right now she was asking her a question:
"Is it a deal, or no deal?"
She thought for a while. And then made up her mind. She closed the transparent buzzer container with force and renewed vigor, and consequently made that hand movement that I bet all of you are familiar with.
"No deal!"
Kris Aquino, ever the elegant host, just smiled her knowing smile and proceeded with the game. Briefcases were then consecutively opened, and then the contestant was given the fateful question again.
In the end, she went home with a million bucks, brought about by a "No deal".
That's Deal or No Deal. No other gameshow has given that much adrenalin. The big bosses at ABS-CBN really got it going when they found a new formula that suited the Filipino palate. Primetime watching has never been the same since then. I mean, much too much roulettes, multiple choices, boxes and bayongs were used over time. It's just a relief that a gameshow with a concept this new landed this side of the Pacific.
In this show, you become one with the contestant's hopes and pains. I almost always find myself inadvertently shouting "deal!" or "no deal!" at the top of my lungs with the audience, even if it's just on tv. Of course, not always does a contestant win. Sometimes Lady Luck just isn't there, and they walk away with less than their barangay's transportation fees. But most of the time they got lucky and get the meat. On both accounts the experience is priceless.
And who could ever forget the drama? Deal Or No Deal is full of them. I once watched an ep wherein the contestant's busband was asked for a briefcase number. And what do you know? It contains the 2M. Tough luck, since the next biggest sum is a 4-digit number. When the ever-sexy Kris asked about her whereabouts, she offhandedly replied, "Okay lang, Kris. My husband is my biggest prize anyway."
Aww. The driving force of Louve. (The misspelling is intentional.)
At any rate, it is a game, right? But for me, at least, it is much more. Deal or No Deal is a godsend. It mirrors the Filipino dream: the pinnacle of the elusive creature we call success. The faces of victory and defeat, the sheer joy of winning and the sorrow of unbearable loss. Every briefcase contains a surprise; like life. You never know what you'll get. The stakes may rise and fall, but at the end of it all, one chooses to stay firm and shout a "no deal!". The Filipino spirit standing strong at every endeavor.
After writing this article, i'm gonna text the show and join the fun as a contestant.
Oops. Too bad i'm underage.
it got me home
7:18 AM
Monday, December 11, 2006
#8: OF GAMESHOWS (PART 1)
No classes were held that day. I was at the house doing nothing at all. For a while I got interested in some bug crawling 'round the corner. But I later got tired of it. Out of unutterable boredom, I gave in to my last resort. I turned on the television.
"...Wowowee sinong di mawiwili..."
OMG. I just watched Wowowee.
Watching the show, I was amazed at how people react to the stuttering host. They're, like, jumping and clapping like there's no tomorrow. Okay, maybe it's some form of entertainment for them people. Now our househelper is dancing to the tune of "Boom Tarat Tarat". God forbid.
A portion in the show, called "PasaLog" is now on. This is a game wherein the audience shakes a humongous die. Inside it are two smaller pieces of dice. Five faces of the dice have nothing written on it, except one, where a huge cash prize and a bonus prize is written. This time, the bonus prize is a sari-sari store. Now, the contestant in this round is an old woman.
True to the Wowowee tradition, Willie forces the old lady to tell her story. The lady, thus, narrated that she is now all alone; her children leaving her by herself while they're taking care of their families. She rode the jeep alone and will go home alone. She only went to the studio to win, if ever, a fair amount, to buy her her coffin.
The TFC were filled with a heightened sense of euphoria and emotion: they reached out to her and gave her dollars. And now for the bonus round: The giant die was passed along to the audience; they were fervently shaking it, and wishing the old granny well.
Then Willie retrieved the die. He opened one. Yes! She won the prize money! Imagine, what are the chances? Okay, the other die. Whoa! She won the sari-sari store! Wohoo! What a very lucky woman.
Wait, i think I saw something. I thought I saw some sort of adhesive connecting the small die to the giant die. And when Willy sort of bumped into the large cube, the smaller die didn't even budge. And imagine the chances that old granny got the two prizes: it's a 1/1000 stake. Do the permutation, and you'll know that that thing happening is rare. Either grams is a very very very lucky woman, or the game itself is rigged. I smell something fishy here.
This is not the first time I saw something "unusual" in the game. In their "Pera or Bayong" it's obvious that Willie is helping another old woman get through the next round, urging her to switch colors when she is in the wrong one. Eventually, granny #2 won.
I mean, the game's aim to entertain the masses and help unfortunate people is noble, but the method is outright ugly. Their rigging is blatant and obvious. Even a child like me can see through their game's behind-the-scenes. It's like playing in a carnival or a casino. You win some, you lose some. And it does not exactly rely on luck. Some buttons are being pushed here and there, really.
Prior to this issue I remembered the Wowowee stampede. A lot of people died in the hopes of winning a million pesos. It's all over the news. The media turned it into a large-scale drama, with the crying and repentant Willie Revillame claiming that he was the most affected in this tragedy. I thought that the show will be banned forever. But, here they are again, still going strong, with Willie in tow. And with a lot more tricks up his sleeve.
Wowowee is playing on the masses' ignorance, fooling them and misleading them in the false hopes of winning.
That's why I do not watch Wowowee. it got me home
6:19 AM
#12: 11 HOURS, 10 MINUTES BEFORE CHRISTMAS
#11: 13 HOURS, 45 MINUTES TILL CHRISTMAS
