Friday, March 30, 2007
#37: CRASH AND BURN
Perfect
Not I; Is He?
Always Hidden, Unnoticed
Both Talented, One Better Than
Shadow
No One Cloaked But Me
Why Can They Not See
Or Is This Feeling Envy?
Conceit
I Write, You Speak
My Dreams Were Twice
Taken Away From Me
Competitor
I Lost, You Won
I Really Do Hope
That Gives You Pleasure
Trickster
Always Gets The Upper Hand
I Wish For You To Crash
As I Go Down Hell To Burn.
it got me home
4:08 PM
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
#36: THINK OF ME
Think of me
Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye
Remember me once in awhile
Please promise me you'll try
When you find that once again you long to take your heart back and be free
If you ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me
We never said our love was ever green or as enchanting as the sea
But if you can still remember;
Stop and think of me
Think of all the things we've shared and seen
Don’t think about the way things might have been
Think of me,
Think of me waking silent and resigned
Imagine me trying to hard to boot you from my mind
Recall those days, look back on all those times
Think of the things we'll never do
There will never be a day when i won't think of you
Flowers fade
The fruits of summer fade
They have their seasons, so do we
But please promise me that sometimes
You will think
Of me.
it got me home
12:53 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
#35: GRAD BLUES
"Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be."
The clock's taunting me again. Its second hand swings effortlessly with the minute's walk and the hour's limp. Like what I always do these past few days during my vacant time(and i'm sure you all do too), I kept reminiscing the past four years with my has-been-innocent, not-so-young-now mindframe. Try as I might, I can't accept the fact that the attendant's gonna stop this one hell of a roller coaster ride so soon. It's tomorrow, dammit. It's tomorrow.
We've been practicing for quite some time now on our graduation. We're like a chorale, what with all the songs having four voices: soprano, alto, tenor and bass. Mrs. Carlos has been proud of our batch being fast learners. We also trained for the rites; how to clap, how to sit, to stand, how to march, and how to tell your seatmate to shut up when he's noisy. In some parts it got a little boring. I haven't got the chance to relish the free time and class bonding either. It's either taking care of the yearbook and newspaper(which, FYI, is still unfinished), or doing some requirements for our clearance. *Sigh* But all's well that ends well. I forecast a kickass graduation rites tomorrow-no, later- and a tear-strained multitude in Thanks To You.
We've had our recollection this week. I can say that it is altogether a different experience, what with all the commotion that happened. I learned things about myself I never knew before. Then Father Something played Through The Years; the whole batch practically broke down. Gawd, imagine a sea of students crying their hearts out. I thought i'm gonna shed my tears after some time too( luckily I didn't. Ha!).
We didn't get to experience the baccalaureate(pardon the misspelling) because we were needed in another school for some awarding in Journalism. Summary: That old man bitching his sorry life away, Palanca bitching Luningning-y crap again, and Ekel bitching around MonSay. Well that's news.
***
It's tomorrow, dammit. It's tomorrow.
I've done it all. I've studied at night, been crazy, played sports, sang songs, made friends (and enemies), performed with pride, performed with shame, cried tears, flashed smiles, gave hugs, exchanged blows and kicks, gave gifts, won awards, lost some, attended seminars, sucked up to teachers, hated them too, cheated(come on!), overslept, came in tardy, bonded with friends, went places, open-forummed, bitched around, passed, flunked, everything. But in the four years I've been on the MaScian bandwagon i'm still in a daze. Then suddenly everything became clear: i'm leaving for good. I feel like Nate O'Riley after a damn hangover. The reality just punches you full on the face.
Up to now, the acceptance meter looks something like LOADING [[[[[[[[[[[[[______50%. A part of me's already jumping about, all packed and ready to go. But another's still hanging on that flagpole. I just need more time. Especially since my dedication book's not yet full. Lol.
If I had any regrets, that would be the fact that I didn't focus on my studies. My insecurities got the better of me, and got sidetracked. As a result, I've no gold, or at least silver, medal to show my parents. I feel like the ultimate loser. And my parents rubbing it in doesn't make it any better. But then again, after reading this article one of my favorite bloggers made, I realized how much I should be thankful for. How much? Just look at the stars in the night sky. That much. Ack, I just realized what a thankless job God has. Well, for one, I still got Outstanding in the Star Awards. I'll get another medal tomorrow. And a cash prize. I've won awards more than any average student could ever garner. I've enhanced my talents and grew in the field of my expertise. And being a graduate of a prestigious school like MaSci is in its own a very welcome blessing. I feel better just thinking about it. My parents would just have to bear it, I guess.
The future looks bright for me. There's no time to dwell in the past for today. Just a few hours from now i'll be a changed man. I'll be a graduate. And then soon i'll get on a course that I love. And i'll really try this time to make my dreams happen. But if something does not go my way still, what the heck, that's God's plan for me in his grand design. So no worries. ^__^
***
P.S. If I got someone to thank in this article, it would be Nika Calilung. One of her articles inspired me to write this one. Love u fat arms!
it got me home
10:00 PM
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
#34: ILANG MONOLOGO
Mga ginoo, ginang at binibini, inihahandog ko sa inyo ang ilan sa mga monologong halaw sa mga mensaheng malimit na natatanggap ng isang indibidwal sa kanyang sariling selepono. Ang mga ila'y nakapagpapatawa, ang iba nama'y nakapagpapaisip. Tayo nang tuklasin ang ilan sa mga ito:
"Mahal kita."
"Mas mahal ko Siya..."
-usapan ng babae at lalaking magpapari
"Pilitin mo man na alisin ako sa buhay mo, babalik at babalik ako!"
- libag
"Hinihintay na namin kayo!"
-Smart at Sun
"Hindi lahat ng dugo dinodonate"
-regla
"Hindi lahat ng berde masustansiya"
- plema
"hindi lahat ng naka-lipstick, babae"
-Ronald McDonald
"Antaray ko! Ang kumontra, kabog sa red bag ko!"
-Tinky Winky
"Boss, sabi ng mga bata wala daw akong silbi sa crew. Ano ba talaga ako?!"
-Grimace
"Ako lang ang nagpapadugo kay Pacquiao!
-English
"Kahit anong mangyari nasa likod mo lang ako."
-puwet
"Wala kang kuwenta! Hindi ka na nakuntento sa isa, palipat-lipat ka pa!
-tv
"Sino ba yang Bokbok at Poknat na yan? Yak! Ambabantot ng pangalan!
-Bakekang
"Anak, tandaan mong ang taong sakim ay magbabaku-bako ang ngipin, nagkakaroon ng malaking nunal at hindi lumalaki."
- Diosdado Macapagal
"It was a hard journey, but we never gave up. We tried our best to climb the highest obstacles just to reach our goal, and we finally made it!"
- Akyat Bahay Gang
"Sabi nang hindi kita anak, Bakekang!"
- Mike Enriquez
Special mention!
"Hindi lahat ng maganda may boyfriend!"
- LeYa
My favorite:
"No Habone, I'm gonna murder you! Kung fu fighting..."
- Klitty
Sa totoo lang, marami pa 'to. Thanks 2 my dear LeYa Soulmate, who is the source of these foolishnesses. Haha. Wrong grammar intended. Bka gumawa na lang ako ng sequel pag naalala ko ung iba. Ta-ta!^__^
it got me home
12:42 AM
Monday, March 12, 2007
#33: ONWARD TO OBLATION
Hey, it just came to my mind that I haven't told anybody anything about the college university i'm going to. Well, that's obvious in the title and picture alone. I just went to the school a while ago to scout for a dormitory. Believe me, it's a circus. We got passed around and got a little lost on the way. Got culture shocks in the process. Ah, just reliving the day itself is tiring. I'm glad it's over. But what would the scenario be during the enrollment? Ugh. I shudder to think.
I also went to UST. I was a included in the TOP 100 there(Psycho and Educ's my course), so my ego needs some calming down then. In case you're wondering, I didn't try for La Salle and Ateneo. I know it would hurt my parent's bank accounts, even with the scholarship. I also thought of future inferiority complexes I would experience there alongside the rich and the famous. I wouldn't risk it.) The UST campus is clean, it's got a mini-mall inside, it's like Glorietta. The environment's more peaceful there. My father's half-thinking to get me enrolled there. Yeah, he saw the facilities. Actually, I had second thoughts, too. But I stuck out to UP till the end. It's my calling. And God knows I worked hard for it.
Argh, the agony. When the results came about, everyone was rejoicing. Most of our batch passed. That is to be expected, of course. ^__^ But then again, some did not. Yet some, still, are hanging by the thread. I'm one of them. I'm a pending case. I mean, i was a pending case. I dunno what I would do. I bid and waited for my time. My application was delayed by a miniscule mentality. Fortunately, I passed in my dream school, University of the Philippines-Diliman, BA Journalism. And I can't believe a couple of principal's signatures almost prevented me from reaching that high.
Right now, i'm not even sure if I would pursue Journalism over Biology, which I passed too. I really like the former. It's my passion, really. But i think my parents are not too happy about it. They want me to be a doctor who would take care of them until they get old. Plus I heard a couple of old women at the bus talking about their sons' courses. One took up nursing, the other computer science. They said that once their sons finished school they would send them to the US or Canada, and when they're forty years old they would be rich, whilst those who would choose to work here would rot. Now I do not dare reprimand them for their crooked unnationalistic mentality, given that they're at their prime and I am just a seed reaching for the zenith, so I just engrossed myself to my thoughts. But they saw me. They even talked to me and recognized that I'm a MaScian. But when I told them my intended course, they didn't even bat an eyelash, as opposed to the gushes and wows that I'm expecting them to utter. I was a little swayed by that. And someone told me that being a Journalist really is a big risk. But what the hell, I love risks.
I'm still confused right now. Really, it's hard to decide. Should I take the course that would give me stability, or the job that I would love even in poverty? Lord, give me a sign.
it got me home
12:03 AM
Thursday, March 8, 2007
#32: DRIVE
Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I'll let the fear
take the wheel and steer
It's driven me before,
and it seems to have a vague
haunting mass appeal
But lately I'm beginning to find I
should be the one behind the wheel.
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there,
I'll be there.
So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive
will I choose water over wine
and hold my own and drive?
It's driven me before
and it seems to be the way
that everyone else gets around.
But lately I'm beginning to find that
when I drive myself my light is found.
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there
with open arms and open eyes
Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there,
I'll be there
Would you choose water over wine
hold the wheel and drive?
it got me home
10:53 PM
#32: DRIVE 
