#55: THE LEGEND OF MENSTRUATION
Once upon a time, when the world was young, back when Babylon was not yet built, and waay back when the first Tabon Man was conceived, Adam and Eve bore their 1969th child. Her name was, uhm... Cynthia Nicole. (Don't ask me why.) Cynthia Nicole was tall, beautiful, and all those cliches. But oh, was she hairy.
But being hairy does not stop her from going outside into the forest (pretty much what they do in the old days, since there's no mall or cellphones) even if the animals thought she is one of them.
"Come join us, Cynthia Nicole!" yakked the yaks.
"Oh no. I may be hairy, but I am human. And I have no horns like yours." said Cynthia Nicole.
"Come join us, Cynthia Nicole!" screamed the monkeys.
"Oh no. I may be hairy, but I am human. And I have no tails like yours." replied Cynthia Nicole.
"Come join us, Cynthia Nicole!" said Rufus, the naked mole-rat.
"Oh no. I may be hairy - heck, you don't even have hair!" replied Cynthia in a sweet voice.
" Just joinin' in the bandwagon, you know?" said Rufus, a little hurt nonetheless.
Tired from the redundancy of her answers (and wondering how animals can talk in the first place), she decided to wax herself. She applied tree-sap(the one that when solidified, turns to amber) to strips of monkey-skin (aha! So there's some use for their skin after all), applied it on herself, and pulled.
Adam didn't ask Cynthia Nicole during dinner(and what a fricken large dinner that was, with his children and all) why his daughter has become all fair and smooth. He just hoped it is a natural gift from Up Above. Little did he know that Cynthia Nicole initiated
the first steps to modern artificial physical modification.
On the other side of the forest resides the snake Jennifer. He is the son of the same snake that conned Adam and Eve. Jennifer prided himself with his scales (the scales notwithstanding) and in fact collects the skin he sheds off whenever he molts. And yeah, he's the baddie here.
Through some incomprehensible reason, Cynthia Nicole got invited to a party. So she was looking for something to wear. Coincidentally, saw the skins, and fell in love with it as Cruella would fall for faux-fur. Jennifer was not in the cave at the moment. So she stole them, and gave them to her 235th brother who designs gowns and whatsits. Cynthia Nicole wanted them to be
made into high fashioned gloves for the party.
Jennifer arrived at the cave and immediately saw the heinuous deed. Through DNA fingerprinting, he determined that Cynthia Nicole was the one who
stole his skin. Boiling with rage, he went to her cave and saw Cynthia Nicole sleeping.
"Curse you girl! curse you to everlasting uteral bloodletting!" And he bit the highest place he can reach. Oh, you know where.
I don't know, but that bite must hurt really, really bad.
So you see, everytime girls have it, snakes are not allowed to come near. Tee-hee.
Yeah, so blame Nicole and her scale fetish. Pretty much like we blame Adam and Eve for eating that damned apple.
